Question: How do you comfort a sobbing drunken girl?
Honestly, I dunno the answer to this question. I never have the need to do something like this in my last 28 years of my life. Not enough female friends perhaps?
It happened on Thursday late evening. My Swedish roommate Agnes came back home really drunk and start raving on about her boss back at work. To give you a bit of background Agnes is only around 19-20yo, acts like a brat sometimes and a little bit immature but otherwise have a very lovely personality, but otherwise she is quite a fragile girl considering her age. She got “tangle” up with her boss at work and without going into too much detail she felt like she was discarded and used by her boss.
The main reason (coming from her) that she ended up “tangled” up with her boss is that he loves to flirt with the girls that he works with and she finds her quite “hot”. She initially resisted him but kind of relented a few weeks later after a heavy drinking session. When he moves on to another girl she felt dejected and infuriated of being use. There is also a sense of powerlessness involved as he is her boss and command a bit of power over her in her workplace and vindicate her in the workplace with his mockery.
She was depressed, lonely and dejected. She felt that even some of her old friends has left her on the wayside. I understand how she felt, when I was in similar state myself I thought that my friends has abandoned me and believe that they intentionally excluded me in their social outings. This is blatantly untrue, none of their feelings about me has changed, if anything this is an example where thinking worsens the problem rather than solving it. Our intellect can solve the worlds woe but it can also ended up tying us in knots! So much for our gifts from evolutions!
She talk to me for close to an hour, I really dunno what to say but I just nod and said I understood a lot. I know girls usually comfort each other by saying “All men are bastards…..” but it might come across as mockery if its coming from me. So really the only thing I know to comfort a sobbing girl/woman is just sit there listen and dun say anything. If she ask you a question about her dun serves her cold truth to her! There is always another time for that!! After our chat she call her Fijian boyfriend and I promptly fell asleep. (Like to be sympathic but I got work tomorrow.)
*I am going into a rant, if you dun like to read it skip to the last paragraph.*
Is the search of happiness our bane? Or more correctly speaking are we all doomed to fell for the superficial like looks and sexual prowess? Do we overvalue these attributes and sell ourselves into a “bad deal”? Kind of like buying a lemon from a used car dealer because it seems like a good car at the time. Both sex are just as easily infatuate with such things as looks but from observation guys and girls handle things very differently when the shit hits the fan.
Its hard for a guy to come to grips with rejection. The problem faces guys is that although most of them don’t get hit hard by their inner emotion, they usually ended up facing it alone. I read a quote somewhere that describes men as turtles: Wears a hard shell but are soft on the inside. So if a guy is hit with negative emotions he usually does not reach out for external help because of this perception that being intone with your emotion actually makes you look “weak”. IMO guys are emotional because they are actually not adapted at dealing with them.
Women on the other hand are more experienced with dealing with their emotions, but it hit them in waves similar to how the waves hits rocky beach. On a good day the wave clashes gently against the beach and the girl feel shes on top of the world and she has everything going for her. On a bad day they get hit by torrents of emotions that overwhelmed every bit of their senses rendering them a wreck unable to put any perspectives on her surroundings. If you are malicious, you can completely destroy a girl from the inside by planting lies, deceits and misinformation. The bit that disturbs me the most is how fast and easy it is to reduce a strong and highly intelligence woman into a sobbing mess.
Sigh….. Like all Shakespearean protagonists, their inner flaws are their own undoing.
*Rant over*
On a different note, I am back doing Jujutsu! Yay! The school that I goto is part of the Jitsu club in the London school of Economics. After almost 3 months off the mat its like hitting the brick wall, I almost throw-up from the warm up! I got a lot of fitness to catchup. I am also very impressed by the way they emphasis on the basics like break-falling, something that I might have to look at sharpening over the coming weeks.
Ciao for now…….
P.S. This updated is typed at work, I even have time to prove read it….. 
But what can one do if she like somebody else? Should I kick in a garbage bin? Break some glass off a shopfront? Punch the first random person who I think is a fuckwit? Or visit the nearest internet cafe and write it on my blog? Hang-on, think I got the answer.